The Burt reynolds Mystery
After reading that one of Alfred Hitchcock’s favorite films (and mine) was Smokey and the Bandit (source), I planned to write a rant on the bastardization of my childhood my good ole boy heroes. I thought it’d be clever to include a Burt Reynolds quote, so I googled Burt Reynolds quote. I found this think exist page for Burt. It started full of promise:
My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes, because nobody can leave. -Burt Reynolds
You can only hold your stomach in for so many years
-Burt Reynolds
Ah, just the kind of charming self-depricating quips I had hoped to find, but then the quotes took an unexpected turn:
A woman mistook me for Brando. I [tried to] dissuade her but she kept coming back insisting I was Brando.
-Burt Reynolds
Now, in the middle of the night, you hear me wake up in this cold sweat going, ‘Bond, James Bond’,
-Burt Reynolds
That was it. look for yourself. Interesting, but obviously part of some larger anecdote. I would love to know what the set up for Burt’s “Bond, James Bond” punchline was or where the Brando story went. As I read on it got worse…even a bit spooky. (warning: if you are alone and it’s a late at night you might not want to read the following Burt Reynolds quotes):
I was doing the Carson show.
-Burt Reynolds
OK. seriously…WTF?
The lifework of Burt Reynolds has recently been marginalized to the point that his great films are being remade as Nelly vehicles and his anecdotes are slipping from the historical record.
Why should you care? Burt is an inspiration. Burt is a survivor with a lion’s heart. He was an honest-to-God star running back (fuck you, Sandler!) until a car accident ended his dream. So, he worked his way up through playing bit-parts and half-breeds in 60’s westerns until he got a break in the film Deliverence (It’s a great film based on a great novel) only after stars like Brando, Stewart, and Fonda turned it down due to the physical dangers of the river shoot. He then became the biggest movie star of the late 70’s and early 80’s. After some admittedly poor career choices (he was the first choice to play Han Solo, Randle Patrick McMurphy in One Flew Ove the Cuckoo’s Nest, and Jon McClane in Die Hard, etc.) he went on to reinvent himself, earning an Emmy for Evening Shade and an Oscar nomination for Boogie Nights.
I went back to quotes page hoping for answers:
Boogie Nights
-Burt Reynolds
I swear to God that’s all it says. “Boogie Nights”…I am freaking out! Then, I saw it:
He was a wonderful man and a fine actor, and we will all miss him.
-Burt Reynolds
There are two explinations here, 1) Burt Reynolds was commenting on the untimely passing of a friend and fellow actor and the fine folks at Think Exist just forgot to mention whom Burt was eulogizing. or 2) Burt is speaking about his own death from beyond.
You remember The Never Ending Story? You remember “The Nothing”? I think something like that is going on here. I think Burt Reynolds is in the grasp of the abyss.
Need evidence? just look [here] and here. Or just look at the picture for this article. He’s practically being sucked into the void before our very eyes.
”When the premiere was over, Adam Sandler and other stars of the new version walked out the front door of the theater but, according to witnesses, there was no sign of Reynolds. Observers are wondering if the publicity over the slap will help or hurt the film at the box office.”
Who cares about the box office, “observers” should be more concerned with the health and very existence of Burt Reynolds! and what if Burt goes, what will disappear with him? Male sex-symbols? Charm?
We must not let this happen. We must continue the legacy of Burt Reynolds. So, I ask of you. Send me your Burt Reynolds stories.
I have assembled THE ten essential Burt Reynolds clips to stoke the fires of your imagination, but I fear that soon these clips will be also fade and vanish piece by glorious piece.
I just went to imdb.com to make sure that Burt was still with us, and I found out that Burt and I HAVE THE SAME MIDDLE NAME! Burt’s fate, and maybe even somehow my own are in your hands.
