A friend sent me a Japanese ear stick cleaner thingy from J-Town, which works. So I decided to see what Non-Japanese anti-wax devices are available. Apparently, it’s an international obsession.

The British Vacuum Clean was my favorite device. Diversify Black & Decker, Diversify!
”This electric Ear Wax Remover actually vacuums out the wax, without stimulating production of more. So you can keep your shell-likes pink and clean without the risk of harm (putting foreign bodies into your ear canal can cause otitis, an inflammatory infection).”

If you think that’s scary, wait till you check out Keegan and Bannister infamous 2005 masterpiece from the Canadian Medical Association Journal: A novel method for the removal of ear cerumen

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Thanks, Adwords. Without you I would have never found this patented travel product that lets me always have “comfort in the palm of my hand.”

It might not be as revolutionary as the infamous The Backup, but it does “eliminates annoying head bobbing,” and I never would have found it without a helpful text ad.

I wonder what Balledupsweatshirt’s US Patent # is?

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